Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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