You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
