he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
