My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
