I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
