How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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