i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
