I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
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