if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
