i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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