your room smells of hookers.
And success
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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