i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
