I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
barbara walters just said penis...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
