I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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