Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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