i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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