What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
