did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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