is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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