Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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