i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
