Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
