so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
