You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
