I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
