I'm going to jail i love you
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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