Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
