"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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