I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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