She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
