no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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