Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
