Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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