I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
How external is "for external use only"?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
