Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
