I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
