i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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