Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
