why didn't you poke me back
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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