so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
