You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
