I hope mine doesn't look like that
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
