his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
