Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
