DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
