I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
what day is it and did you see me today?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
