I'm gonna have a badass scar
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I wear drunk well.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
