Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
