It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
