please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
