So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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