Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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